Getting off the Bench!

I started working with my Spiritual Coach Donnalynn almost two months ago.

I know Donnalynn from when I used to take Yoga classes in the Upper East Side of Manhattan in 2011. She was always one of my favorite yoga teachers in NYC because of her vulnerable & relatable dharma talks around love and letting go. Her wise speeches always stuck with me because at the time, I was going through a heartbreak-- the boy I felt a special connection with ( we had met on the set of the dance movie, Step Up 3D in Brooklyn) went back to California. I felt Donnalynn could understand my loss because she shared in her talks about a fiance who had broken off her engagement to be with someone else.  We both knew heartbreak and her words were my medicine. I was 21 or 22 at the time. Funny to think about it now... forward to like January 2018 - I was sitting in Jenny's Santa Monica house on my lap top anxiously applying to jobs on LinkedIn, and Donnalynn's LinkedIn posts popped up. It said something about learning to "take the lesson and go" or "things fall apart to fall back together." Reading her posts reminded me of how much I used to enjoy her dharma talks. I also happened to be confused about a certain relationship and her words again were so consoling and I found comfort amidst the chaos......again. One thing led to another, and Donnalynn became my Spiritual Coach.

Soooo....Today I was having my coaching call with DL and boy oh boy does she deliver the wisdom. We often talk about Law of Attraction and how our thoughts create our reality. I asked her ..."Well I believed for like 10 years that Justin Timberlake and I were going to work together and ...what happened with that?"  

She answered - "It was not the right field because your composition and vibration is a healer." It all made perfect sense. Now, she is not the first person to ever tell me that Im a healer, but as an empath, I always knew it deep down. Wisdom nugget: As soon as you surrender to who you are, that's when the growth happens. 

DL explained to me that in life there is fate and free will. You have to get off the bench and tell the Universe what you want!

I was explaining to her that I was having some blockages around following my heart NOW, because when I followed my heart pursuing performing for 10 years, it didn't lead me to health and happiness. I asked her...what can I do? She said when you get off the bench and go in motion, the universe will grab you. She said to keep me eyes open for the sign and ask for the Guidance.

So I did just that....and the signs started happening! Today while I was driving home from work, an old friend of mine who happens to be an agent in Boca Raton, mentioned I could potentially do some swimsuit modeling (I thought oh, ok that could be fun and help support my yoga certification expenses.)

Then when I came home, I had a message waiting in my inbox from a female Entrepreneur who started helping me understand money more....and offered to mentor me.

Lord knows Ive had root chakra issues around money for some time now. Well Im out of that closet now. I have no fear. Im ready for more guidance. Bring it on Universe!

True Life: I Have A Leaky Gut

     I’ve struggled with my skin health since I was ten years old. I remember the red bumps that first appeared on my chin in the 5th grade. The other girls in my class didn’t have them and I remember thinking, why do I have this and they don’t? My pre-pubescent acne affected my confidence and made me feel ugly.

    My diet was no different than the other kids I went to school with. Every dermatologist Id ever seen told me that the food I ate didn't have much to do with causing acne.  When I was 12, I started taking prescription medications for acne. At 13, my parents spent thousands of dollars on microdermabrasion acne facials twice a months for 6 months! (which hurt like hell!!!) When I was 17, I started taking birth control pills and when that didn't work, I considered my last resort: Accutane.

      At 18, I made my National Television Debut on MTV's True Life: I Have Acne. They documented the transformation of my skin on the controversial drug and after 6 months my skin cleared!!!!!! Accutane seemed like a miracle drug....UNTIL a year later, the cystic acne came back!!!! So then I was back to square one and my dermatologist put me on more prescription drugs: spironolactone (to dry out my sebaceous glands) & birth control (to regulate my hormones). I stayed on medication for another 4 years and while some days my skin looked clearer, I would often experience bowel discomfort, bad breath, fatigue, and depression. I thought about getting off the prescription drugs several times in the past 3 years, but I was always afraid. I didn’t want to spend the money on seeing a holistic skin doctor and it seemed like a foreign idea. I didn’t have support around me in NY to feel confident enough to face my underlying acne issues. I was honestly exhausted from trying to heal my skin and my breakouts would sometimes make me feel suicidal. I felt like my acne was the reason guys wouldn't ask me to be their girlfriend. I had never had a boyfriend, so I attributed my singleness to the red monsters on my face. So like any person trying to find an escape from their pain, I just kept poppin prescription pills hoping for a miracle that my cystic acne would one day stop.

    This summer my magical Yogi Goddess friend Fern, invited me to sing at her Rooftop yoga classes. It was through her wellness community that I met other health conscious friends and gathered the courage to begin to consider holistic treatment for my cystic acne. Reflecting now, I feel really grateful that Fern reached out to me. She was like an angel sent my way.


        Back in July, I performed my original songs at The Barn and Bail Theater. I loaded cover up on my face the day of the show because I had 3 large cystic zits on the left side of my chin. I often get large cysts on my face on the days of my shows and they make me feel extremely self -conscious. They also HURT like crazy!! This was a tipping point for me. My gut was literally screaming at me. I had IBS, bad breath, and acne—all signs that I had a leaky gut. The gut is the gateway to health. If your gut is healthy, chances are that you're in good health. However, there's a condition called leaky gut that can lead to a host of health problems. 


9 Signs You Have A Leaky Gut

1. Digestive issues such as gas, bloating, diarrhea or irritable  bowel syndrome (IBS).

2. Seasonal allergies or asthma.

3. Hormonal imbalances such as PMS or PCOS.

4. Diagnosis of an autoimmune disease such as rheumatoid arthritis, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, lupus, psoriasis, or celiac disease.

5. Diagnosis of chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia.

6. Mood and mind issues such as depression, anxiety, ADD or ADHD.

7. Skin issues such as acne, rosacea, or eczema.

8. Diagnosis of candida overgrowth.

9. Food allergies or food intolerances.


            The bottom line is: Drugs don’t address the root cause of acne. My Acne is a sign that my body is having digestive issues. My body is having a difficult time eliminating waste and because it can’t purge through my digestive tract, it purges through my skin as acne. Now, this is way more complex to explain, so I'll explain more in my next blog post.

             Im currently on a Paleo diet and my skin has been purging on and off. This is what my skin looked like on 27 Days Off Acne Medication. 


      Writing and talking about my acne helps me to actually heal. In fact a lot people have been reaching out on social media sharing that they are also experiencing troubles with their acne and health. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in this giant leap of faith toward healing my cystic acne naturally!  I used to think I should hide my flaws. Now Im just embracing them.

      In my next blog I will reveal more about what Im learning about my skin on my new diet and how I am addressing my Leaky Gut, from the Inside Out.